All I Love
by A Dauntless Selection
Summary: All who Tris Prior love disappear, without a trace. She blames herself. Tris' abnegation traits take over, saving everyone, except herself. Full of emotion and heartbreak. Please give a chance and read! Thank you! Rating: T (may change). Note - The war happened, but dauntless wasn't involved, meaning Tris' friends are alive.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own divergent or any of its characters (unless introduced by myself). It all belongs to Veronica Roth.**

 **Tris**

I have this theory. And If you knew me, I think you would have to agree. My theory evolved around the lives of others, as well as the life of myself. It is the reason people shouldn't come close to me. They should avoid disaster and catastrophe.

The theory; Everyone who comes near me gets hurt, and potentially dies. This theory couldn't be more true right now, in the situation I face.

* * *

"Tris!" Tobias yells across the cafeteria, trying to beat the dauntless buzz, "Where did you go?"

He smoothly makes his way over to me, then quickly takes a seat at our table. "Where do you think? Mars?" I start to laugh, and then stop abruptly at the serious look on his handsome face.

"Tris, I am serious, you can't just leave like that!" Tobias' voice begins to rise, and his forehead gleans with sweat, clear signs of his emotional trauma.

I caress his face, suddenly feeling guilty "Honey, I am never leaving you, calm down. I just came to get some food, Okay?" My attempts at finishing this conversation which is occurring in front of our friends are demolished.

"Tris, I didn't know where you were! Please tell me when you go somewhere. Please. I just don't want to loose you..." His voice is laced with sadness as he finally acknowledges the food in front of him and takes a hamburger.

"Okay, I will. But please do not let my history make you worried about me. I assure you, I don't want to leave, okay?" I lean in meet his lips while taking his hand in mine. When he looks happy enough, I turn to our friends, who all look at us with sadness and awe. All but Lynn, who just stares at our figures in disgust due to the show of affection.

"Ugh, you guys really need to get a room! I am trying to eat here!"

Ever since my drastic actions in saving Chicago from being memory wiped were performed, Tobias has been particularly observant over everything I do. I think his main concern is my "recklessness", as he likes to call it. He thinks I'm going to kill myself at any second, in other words. But I cannot blame him; I did nearly go.

I don't remember much about what happened after I was shot by David, which is no wonder, because I was in a coma. I do remember thinking, though. A lot. I thought about whether I wanted to fight anymore. I thought about Tobias. I thought about the consequences of facing what waited for me in the world.

There were multiple times when I did want to join my parents, and I was so close. But I couldn't. And so I didn't. I came back to Tobias, who needed me the most, as I could clearly tell when I regained consciousness.

So now, Tobias is left over protective and worried, all the time, and I am left feeling extremely guilty for all I have done. I am selfish and weak.

"Hey, guys? We are going to head back to our apartment, Okay?" I state, wanting to escape the eyes penetrating my small figure and somehow smooth the tension between Tobias and I.

"Okay, later." Zeke waves us off, "We'll see you guys tomorrow."

We exit the large open space and begin travelling down one of the dark hallways in silence, gripping onto each others hands. Tobias is silent as I look up at his face. He is always looking extremely tense these days, and I just want him to relax. But I don't know what to say; I've never been the wordy type.

We finally reach our apartment, the same one he owned during my initiation. He opens the door and holds it open for me, motioning me in. I travel inwards, and plonk myself onto the bed. I stare at Tobias as he shuts the door and gets himself a glass of water.

It is still silent, until he speaks up, "Tris, I'm not mad at you..."

"I never said I was mad, Tobias," I respond quickly, while persisting cautiousness. I don't want him to explode. He walks over to me and sits alongside my left thigh.

"Well, good. I am just very... I guess, on edge these days. And I just want you to be safe. You are my everything, and after what has happened, I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. I would never forgive myself if you were to get hurt. I can't live without you, Tris. I nearly died when you were in that coma! " His statement just makes me feel even guiltier, and I must show it in my expressions - which he can read like nothing else - , because he immediately reevaluates.

"No, no, no, don't do that. It was really hard for me, you must understand?" I begin getting teary. I nearly killed him. I never knew this. He doesn't deserve this.

"Yo-ou nearly d-died? Because of m-me?" I say through tears, "This isn't good f-for you! I'm n-not good for y-you! You don't d-deserve..."

"Stop, Tris!" Tobias gently shakes my shoulders before resting his hands on my, now damp, cheeks. "I nearly died because I love you, like I have never loved anyone before. You were, and still are, my everything. And don't you ever, ever again say that you are not good for me. You are beautiful, and that is why I didn't want to live without you. If it makes you feel any better, I feel like I don't deserve you either, sometimes." He smiles, that gorgeous smile that would make anything melt; Even the hardest gold. His soft facial features are what calm me down. They always do.

"Okay," I say quietly, "I love you."

"I love you too, Tris. Get some rest, okay, we will talk some more in the morning." And with that he kisses me, soft and loving, while wrapping his arms around my waist. I kiss back, until he helps me lie back onto the sheets. I feel stiff, until his warm body slides onto the bed and his arms wrap around my torso. Then, I feel safe and calm.

* * *

 **Well, this is my first story. Yay! I hope I did okay. If you have any suggestions please comment and keep criticism constrictive thanks. That would be very helpful.**

 **I would just like to say that Tris may seem a bit out of character here (with the whole crying thing), but the trauma they went through was very emotional. They are trying to work back into the routine of life with the past (and what could have been deadly)** **hanging over them.**

 **Goodbye! Thanks for reading xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Here is chapter two of All I Love**

 **I do not own Divergent, that is Veronica Roth.**

 **Enjoy!**

The rich smell of coffee fills my nostrils, resulting in my awakening. "Good morning, love. Want a coffee?" Tobias stands at the kitchen bench, holding a jug filled with the dark substance.

"Morning," I manage, sitting up, "Sure, coffee sounds great, thanks."

He pours a mug full and walks over to me. "How'd you sleep?" he asks, handing me the – not surprisingly – black mug.

"Fine." I say, giving him a kiss. I begin to drink the warm liquid while leaning into his side. "I have to pick a job today." This, I have been thinking about since we got back from the Bureau. Since I nearly died and left Tobias. I take a deep breath, trying to fight the memories.

"What are you going to pick?" He asks, while running his fingers through my soft, blonde hair.

I mumble a reply, "I don't know." The thing is, I actually _don't_ know. I don't want to own a shop, or be a nurse, or work in the control room. And I don't want to be a leader - too much responsibility - . I don't want to be an ambassador or guard/ police either. So that doesn't really leave much choice, does it.

"Maybe you could train initiates with me?" He looks hopeful, and its kinda cute. But I'm not sure about training either.

"I'll think about it." Is my reply. What else can I do?

* * *

I'm sitting at the cafeteria table, staring at our friends. Zeke and Shauna are feeding each other spaghetti, Uriah and Marlene are laughing at something, Lynn is just stuffing her face with porridge and Will and Christina are laughing at Lynn's beautiful eating habits. Christina. I feel bad, as I have spent most of my time with Tobias. But I imagine she must have been struggling too.

"Hey Chris," I start, "How's things with Will?"

She looks thoughtful and excited for a moment, then calmly replies, "Yeah, now it's all over, we can actually start a life, you know?" She then smiles and looks at Will. "What about you and Four?" She wiggles her eyebrows. All our friends know Tobias' real name, but out of respect for him, choose to use Four.

"He's great. He treats me so well. I love him." It's my turn to smile now, and I do.

Christina nods, "It was so weird, finding out you two were a thing. I couldn't imagine it at first." She laughs, "I nearly fell over when you kissed him in front of all the Dauntless." We both laugh at that. It feels fabulous to laugh. I feel like I haven't since…

I see Tobias smiling, ear to ear, from the corner of my eye. God, his smile is beautiful. It's so bright, and so stunning. His smile could …

"Tris!" Christina clicks her fingers in front of my face. "Where'd you go?" She begins laughing again, but this time I can only put on a smile. How often do I fade off like that?

"So, let's talk jobs. I want to pick nurse!" She states loud and proud.

"A nurse? I would have thought you would own a clothes shop or something."

"Ha, between you and me, you get better points nursing than owning a shop." Christina smirks, leaning in closer, "And how could I choose a lower paying job over a higher one? That would be stupid!"

"Gee, Christina, don't go all Erudite on me," I reply, cooly.

"It must be Will…" She leans over and presses her face against his.

We talk some more until it is time for us to leave and pick jobs. "Do you want me to come with you?" Tobias looks up from his spot at the table.

"I'll meet you at our apartment right after I choose okay?" I kiss him quiet and move off towards Eric's office with Christina, Will, Marlene, Uriah and Lynn. When we arrive in his messy and dark office, we enter. Eric sits at his large, metal desk, staring at his computer. When realising our presence, he jumps and quickly exits whatever he was viewing.

"Ever heard of knocking?" he sneers eyeing me the whole time, "Some of us don't want nosey kids spying on our business."

Why did he close his computer so fast? What is he hiding? I have always been observant of Eric. He shouldn't be controlling this faction.

When all initiates arrive we choose our jobs. The list looks something like this:

Christina – nurse

Will – control room

Tris – tattoo artist

Uriah – dauntless born trainer

Marlene – shop owner

Lynn – factionless patrol

Peter – ambassador

Molly – fence guard

The rest I don't really care about. I picked tattoo artist because none of the other jobs really appealed to me. This one, at least, I could work with Tori. She and I have become closer, and talking to her more would be nice.

When I exit Eric's office, I realise I need to think. The only place effective for this task is the bottom of the Chasm. I begin to think about what my life will be, now that I can live it, while I make my way through the cool hallways.

I hope I will always be with Tobias. And I hope that there will not be any more serious drama. But, knowing my luck and my fortune, something is bound to happen.. How can I avoid any serious drama? I killed Al, my friend. I killed my Parents, the selfless ones who deserved to be happy. I erased all the people in the Bureau. I helped kill so many people during that war. I nearly killed my Tobias. My poor Tobias.

The emotions are running high. I feel sad because of what I have done and because of the people who died. I feel hopeless because of how few I saved. I feel angry that I am in this mess. I feel embarrassed, because I am in this mess. I helped cause this mess.

Only now do I realise I am crying again. Why do I keep crying? I should be brave! I should be dauntless! I am dauntless! But I am not dauntless. I am not brave. I am cowardly.

The Chasm doesn't look any different since Tobias and I last visited. The cool water rushes through the rocks and splashes up in all directions. It is particularly dark here, and I think that's partly why I enjoy it. I can be myself and no one can see me. Except Tobias. He is the only other person, besides myself, to come here.

Tobias.

"Shit!" I mutter in frustration. He will be worried. He will be angry with me for not returning home straight after choosing my job as I promised. And so I run. I run through the dark and cool walls in attempt to return home as fast as my tiny legs will take me.

I turn a few corners and then suddenly, I am on the floor. Sprawled out with legs and arms in all directions. I close my eyes and try to fight the dizziness.

"Oh my God, Tris!" a voice yells, the noise echoing down along the walls, "Tris please speak to me!"

I open my eyes, and thankfully, I am not as dizzy as before. The first thing I see is a pair of midnight blue eyes. The eyes I get lost in frequently. "Tobias?" I whisper, "Tobias, I am so sorry. I forgot to come home because I needed to think about everything. And you must be so mad at me, I am so sorry, I…"

Tobias interrupts me, "Shh Tris. It's okay. Sure I was a little mad, but that's not what's important right now. Something has happened." I abruptly sit up, causing the dizziness to return. With my hands placed supportively on my head, I question, "What happened, Tobias?"

He stares at me for a few seconds then replies. "Tris, Will has gone missing."

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 **Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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